About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my poor anus
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.