you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
God has nothing to do with this.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.