i jhust puked up my retainher.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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