Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
