Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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