I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
