Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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