IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
