I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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