I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
