Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
