in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
