im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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