so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
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fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
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I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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