I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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