Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
