Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
