Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
