im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
