Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
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he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
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Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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