Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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