singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
In America we eat man semen.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
