Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
