Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
