Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
