you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
