To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
