he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
