sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
