sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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