...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
