it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
