can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize