You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
