The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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