Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
