..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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