He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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