I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
