Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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