the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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