just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
