He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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