i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Randomize
