the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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