WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize