Is it normal to miss your booty call?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
