Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
