Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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