I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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