It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize