definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
