So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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