Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
